... followed by yet another filled-to the rafters but AWESOME day

What made today so great?  It was my first class in the early childhood development program that involved actual early children developing-- the first lab class.  This morning was the classroom part where we discussed do's & don't's, followed by a break of a few hours, then the actual lab with actual children-- the first time I've interacted with kids after 2 semesters building up to this.

Man that was a blast-- it ended up mostly being "Just play with the kids on our very cool playground"-- and seeing as how I'm 3.5 again, I CAN DEFINITELY DO THAT.  It was an absolute joy.

BUT THE COOLEST PART OF TODAY-- NAY, THE DECADE-- WAS WHEN WE HAD JUST GONE OUTSIDE.  The children were still putting on their jackets, and one girl tapped my leg and asked "Would you help me zip my jacket?"  "Of course, sure!  Here..."  <I try, and my ataxia acts up and my left hand shakes so much I cannot complete the task, can't even get the zipper started>  "I'm sorry sweetie, my left hand shakes so much that I can't do this, let's find another adult to help."
She looked at me, this 4 or 5 year old, and said very matter-of-factly, "Yes you can."  So then I just had to give it the ol' college try... and I did it no sweat! THAT WAS SO AWESOME FOR SO MANY REASONS!!!  THANK YOU FOR TEACHING ME A CRUCIAL LESSON THAT I NEEDED!  THAT JUST FILLED MY HEART WITH JOY-- SHE HAD ENOUGH CONFIDENCE IN ME THAT IT JUST WORKED!  HOW INCREDIBLY COOL IS THAT?!?

that was a busy day

Wow it's been a day:

1. I took the 8:30 bus: I know, I know, waa waa waa all the way home... but hey, it's a matter of what you're used to, and I'm used to my mornings being free until the 2:30pm bus.  This semester which just started, my schedule got flip-flopped.
2. After the gym, I got off the bus at home and was walking through the bus station when an elderly lady in front of me took a misstep off the curb when she didn't mean to step off the curb at all, and took a nasty fall, blood gushing out of her head and everything.  Myself and another fellow witnessed it, and I told him "stay with her while I get help."  So I ran over and got them to call an ambulance.  As we waited by her side for the ambulance, about three bus station employees filed past saying variations on "There goes Jeff again, pushing old ladies off sidewalks..."  That's pretty funny, as long as they were joking.  Either they know that they can kid around with me, or I have a reputation of ill repute.  Hmmm... 
3. So then I walked straight to the bus administrative offices, I was planning to anyway, to set up an appointment to give them my page-and-a-half of notes/feedback on ways to improve this town's bus service, because believe you me, it needs major improving.  She told me "Well, I could set up an appointment, or there's a board meeting next Monday that the public's invited to.  "Oh, even better, please write down the time and address."  "OK, but better yet, can I email it to you?  Hey wait a minute... aren't you schoolofhardknox?"  "Uh oh, wow... well, the answer to that question depends on your answer to this question.  Does schoolofhardknox owe you money?"
4. Then as I made the trek back home, some random lady driving the other direction was honking her horn at me and waving.  Um, hi stranger, yes, agreed, it is a nice day.  Partially the lack of recognition was due to the fact that I just caught a glimpse as she sped by, partially it was since I saw her out of context, which has become so important.  Since I've met 84,000 people in the last few years, if I don't have contextual clues to clue me in.. yeah, guess what-- you're probably a stranger.  OR perhaps I just live in a friendly southern town, and she really WAS a stranger...
5. And then, as I was walking home from the Greenlink offices, I figured my legs could use a nice seat, so I stopped for a meal at The Overlook Grill halfway home.  After I ate on the patio overlooking the falls, I went inside for something, and a waitress passing by said "Hi Jeff, how are you?"  "Um, good, thanks, sorry but who are you?"  She told me her name (removed from the blog post to protect the innocent) and said "Oh, it's okay, I know, we all know you."  WOW.  That right there made me realize something-- my goal throughout my therapies was to "get back to normal."  But the story of what I've been through is such a gut-wrencher, I'LL NEVER BE "NORMAL."  And that's a good thing, if I can hopefully inspire others to always try to rise above their disabilities.  Because face it, we ALL have disabilities, we just don't have names for all of them.
6. AND THEN, I walked along the Swamp Rabbit Trail along the riverside to the zoo.  (and learned an important life lesson: before walking almost a mile, DO NOT drink 3 Diet Cokes)  I got to the zoo and found a child there hopping around some rocks at the base of a tree.  I said "Sir, please don't do that, it's very dangerous."  The mom gave me a thumb's-up, and I rushed to the bathroom.  After I came out, I was right behind them on the trail again, so I asked the mom if I could deliver a warning about that behavior.  She said sure, so: "Sir, let me tell you about the dangers of playing on rocks.  I was doing that, when my foot slipped and I hit my head so hard I entered a five-week coma.  Do you know what a coma is?  <"no">  It's when you're asleep and you can't wake up.  I couldn't do ANYTHING, I couldn't even breathe on my own.  See this scar?    That's where the hospital had to breathe for me, I couldn't even breathe on my own.  So, just please be careful."  Yeah, I know I know, not really, but when you have as useful a tool as a tracheotomy scar and they're not gonna know the difference, (unless they read this blog, uh oh) why not put the scar so painfully won in battle to good use?
7. AND THEN, I go to Publix to get my notebook for class that starts tomorrow.  I walk in, a bell goes off and everyone starts cheering & clapping.  I figured it wasn't for me, since they were all looking the other way.  So I asked a manager standing nearby what was that all about?  It was some charity thing.  But, she said, we're getting those vitamins you asked for.  HOLY HECK, HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT WAS ME?  "Well, when you asked for them and I couldn't find them in our computer, then when you came back you brought a bottle so I could scan the UPC.  No one ever does that, it made an impression."  (it was the Publix brand of vitamins being sold at Publix, thus the cheapest, thus "START STOCKING AGAIN!")

It's 10:44, I just finished dinner, and now I'm going to make sure all my stuff is packed for school tomorrow.  WHEW...

it's fun being 3.5 again

And this time around, I have enough sense & awareness that I can recognize I'm having fun, and that that is important!  (like the recent snow-tubing incident)

So this Festivus, I got a table coaster, and it says "WHAT IF THE HOKEY POKEY REALLY IS WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT?"  Ha!  Good call!  What if it is?  And after having the coaster on my living room table for two weeks, (well, I live in a studio apartment, so maybe that should be "on my... room table") I was looking at it, and thought "You know, actually, I don't know what the hokey pokey is."  So I emailed my parents-- "What would ya say the hokey pokey is?"  They simply pointed me to Youtube.  I got the email on my cell phone while I was sitting in a local coffee shop.  Since Android phones also include Youtube, I was able to play it right there.  So I walked over to a table of the younger crowd, (I knew some of them as coffee shop employees) and asked them to watch and ensure I did the steps correctly.  (boy did they get a kick out of that)  And it occurred to me-- the dang lyrics have always been wrong!  I can't figure out what the hokey pokey step actually IS!  "You put your XYZ in, you put your XYZ out, you put your XYZ in and you shake it all about!"  Okay, good so far.  "You do the hokey pokey AND  you turn yourself around..."  Okay, stop right there.  The way I know "and" is that it conjoins two things.  So when I asked what you do at "you do the hokey pokey" the answer was "you turn yourself around."  So then THAT MEANS that the lyrics equate to "you turn yourself around, and you turn yourself around."  DUDE, I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME!  Doesn't this bother anyone that we're teaching tomorrow's leaders that it's OK to turn off their ears the first time?  "It doesn't really count or matter unless it gets repeated."

And then a new friend-in-the-making randomly sent me the all time classic: MAHNA MAHNA.  It's possible for anyone to feel what it's like to be a kid again.  What fun silliness.

Riley vs. "snow", round 2

Dad told me this story on the phone, and after I got some breath back from laughing so hard, I said "Write that into an email so I can blog it."  Voila, your dinner is served:

"So Riley was having a hard time walking in the snow today because there was a layer of ice on top of the snow.  So when I called her in from on top of the driveway, she came running full speed down the driveway.  She was going so fast, her front feet were still moving, but her back legs weren't --- they were just sliding along the top of the snow.  Finally, she picked up so much speed, her front legs couldn't break through the ice fast enough, so she just pulled those legs up too and started sliding down on her belly with all 4 legs spread out and a look of panic/confusion on her face!  She ended up coming to rest right by my legs, stood up, shook herself off, and coolly and calmly moseyed on in to the house!"

Riley, have a snow day

Sorry for the flood of posts, but this is just awesome-- unbridled joy at the curiosity of a new thing: dog meets snow

oh man, that was FUN: sledding

So recently it was <some day of the week>, January 5th, 2011.  That is my cousin's son Isaac's 1st birthday.  So I called, got to sing a song to the little booger, and other sappy stuff.  Oh yeah, and also talked to Brad & Danae.  I heard from them of a recent snowfall.  Brad, Mr. Ski Bunny, (maybe whoops, is that a female term?  sorry Brad.  somebody please leave a comment yes/no; if yes it's a female thing, then I meant to use Mr. Ski Sledgehammer) was saying how beautiful it was.  I think I gave Brad my best advice, something like "You need to seek help for that cocaine problem since you like snow so much, northerner."

Fast-forward to last night.  It started snowing last night around 1:36am.  Not that I would know that, just purely a random guess. (and if you'll buy that, then I have all kinds of other goods you might like)  This morning, I thought "Nice day for a walk."  And this shivers me timbers, I got set to do it; I already had hat & gloves on, I was like "I am so ready for snow, bring it on, big bad snow, I got yo' numba.  This snow ain't even gonna know what hit it, it'll be tapping out of the ring."  (I cannot believe I just used a WWE reference, -5 points for Jeffy)  I got halfway down the hallway to the elevator, and actually thought "Oooh, wait it's going to be cold.  I apparently stink at regulating my own body temperature."  Like that homeless lady who calls me Mr. Blue Lips since I didn't know how cold I was that day.  So I ACTUALLY turned around, spent 45 minutes taking off my outer layer of clothing (I'm not very efficient, I need to take a class from Rupert Baxter), and donned thermal underwear.  (then I was like "Hey, Don, give those back!")  THE FACT THAT I'M GETTING SOME SENSE BACK MADE THAT GREAT.  (on the other hand, I might still try to write in a vote for W. in the next election, but that's a topic for another day)

So all thermal underwear'ed up (with other clothes on top, what do you take me for), I walked down Main St., with a big grin on my face.  "Huh, Brad was right, the world did just get a fresh start.  It feels so clean.  It looks like a sinner's conscience after church." (I'm not saying that it's okay to do wrong, just that they then feel OK for having wronged)  As I got further down Main, a guy and a girl passed with the lids to giant trash cans in their hands, I said something to them, probably about stealing more subtly, and they were like "Do you know any hills around here?"  Hmmm, first thought was 'do I know a Mr. Hill?'  I'm not a smart man... sometimes what I think is a hill is a building, or a a person, or a freakin' cold-as-ice river. (that was not a fun day)  But I remembered one of the biggest lessons I've learned in the last few years: there's probably a resource to help you if you just look around (in the appropriate place) and ask.  Oh, right!  So I started with mom & dad, "Hey do you guys know of any hills in Greenville County?  These two young punks wanna know. [that'll get me in trouble one day, they laughed]  Oh, right, and good morning."  "Well, there's that hill in Falls Park, which, I can tell by the background noise, is 3 blocks from where you're currently standing."  (I didn't get that "smart" gene, I got the "smile & wave, look cute & cuddly" gene-- I bet mine carries me further)

So I accompany the young punks, purely for the chance to do scientific experimentation-- I'm also writing a term paper on what makes yellow snow. ;-)  We get to Falls Park, and there's a half-dozen sledders going at it already.  My two trash-can buddies go at it.  I decline with a "I'm not supposed to be doing sports that involve movement, as that could be hazardous to my health."  After a few minutes, I call my folks, who say "GO FOR IT."  So I asked if I could use a lid since they were now just watching the other sledders.  "SURE, have at it!"  Oh, cool.  Oh right, it never hurts to ask.  So I sat down on one... and got nervous.  So I turned to the crowd and enlisted help-- "Alright everybody together now!  10, 9"-- "9, 8, 3, 2, 1!"  (I later went back and suggested to that lady that she look into remedial math; no joke, it sounds funny but I seriously did, that's gonna cause her problems in later years, especially in calculus; you need to master elementary math)
So, I wouldn't say I've got sledding mastered, as I flipped halfway down the hill, and rolled off the sled onto my back with my legs in the air like an upside-down Y.  That's as far as that story is gonna go.  I'm only gonna claim "I was pushed, ref!"  So then a fellow said "Here, try this sled instead."  I tried it.  It was fun.  Nothing humorous happened.  (odd)

But all in all, I HAD FUN.  It was nice to be a kid again.

p.s. there is no homeless lady who calls me Mr. Blue Lips-- it just seemed to be a nice touch, and who complains about a nice touch?

that was amusing-- my kindergarten teacher & a peek into the Knox household

So I'm learning more & more how much of an impact your kindergarten teacher has on your life.  I've heard tell of folks who went back to revisit their kindergarten teachers in adult years.  And I'm thinking, "My life has turned out so amazingly well, and has taught me that it's SO worth it to be more than a decent person, to go out of your way to go the extra mile... I'd like to revisit my kindergarten teacher, and say a big THANK YOU for putting me on the right path!"

Well, there's a problem with that plan.  I sorta don't remember much before May 26 2007.  I attended kindergarten before May 26 2007.  Hmmm... quandary.  Ooh, got it-- I may not know, but my folks certainly do!

<ring ring>  dad: "Hello?"

Jeffy: "How's it going.  Okay, enough chit-chat, down to business.  I'd like to know who my kindergarten teacher was, probably go revisit him or her when we're in Asheville next year for my "don't drink and drive" speech at the high school.  So who was it?"

dad: "Oh, there's no need to do all that traveling."

Spunky: "Oh  yes there is."

dad: "Well, you actually know who it was."

Buzz Lightyear: "That's just it-- I don't have a clue."

dad: "Here'a  BIG HINT-- I'm married to her."

Jazz: "MOM WAS MY KINDERGARTEN TEACHER?!?  Oh man, now I feel really bad about trying to get her arrested for the drug habit.  At least the cop thought I was joking, though."

true story: a few years ago, I did try to get a cop in McDonald's to arrest mom "for her drug habit."  Little thought was given to 'reasonable cause for suspicion.'  I randomly walked up to a cop in line and said "Pardon me sir, would you please arrest my mom for drugs?"  The fuzz didn't bite.  Good thing, too, as although I tried to get her locked up in the big house by ol' Smokey, have her bunkin' down with Big Sue, "for her drug habit", there is no drug habit.  At least, no non-prescription drug habit.  At least, no non-prescription drug habit that we have evidence of.  This "joke" has been running rampant in my immediate family ever since that day.  It came out of left field, too-- "Hey, there's a cop, lemme just go see what happens if I get mom arrested for drugs for no reason whatsoever."  I'm probably gonna be cooking my own meals next time I stay at their house, for blogging this.  Next time this opportunity presents itself though, I'm gonna play it smarter and use "Pardon me, would you please arrest my-- that lady over there-- for drugs?"  Every time we've seen a cop since, mom's shoulders get visibly tight... my prediction is that I pull one of these stunts again, and she just flat-out starts booking it.  So the cop will hear "Will you please arrest this lady" followed by the lady high-tailing it... that would be the "do not pass go, do not collect $200" path for that lady.

IMPORTANT if you drink alcohol and get an Android phone

So I went by my favorite pizzeria on the way home for a diet coke and to say hi to friends.  The lady two barstools down from me had an Android cell phone on the bar that said in a font so loud I could read it, "BAC level 1.19"  I was like "Excuse me, what is THAT?"

It was the "Blood Alcohol" app on Android phones.  You simply push a button for each alcoholic drink you consume, telling it what kind of alcohol it was, and it makes you aware of your blood alcohol level, which goes up over time as your body digests more alcohol.

If only we had THAT in May '07.  Please, if you drink alcohol, and you ever end up with an Android cell phone (highly recommended), you NEED this app.  She said there's several that do the same thing.  Find the one on the Market you like, you can try each app for [some unknown time] and still get a full refund, and then use it.  It may save your life.

And then... I started to tell her why I'm so interested, and she says "Oh, I know your story.  Heard about it from my friend Mia who's a waitress at the Handlebar." (an old weekly haunt of mine)  HOLY HELL!  I cannot leave this town, it's just too good to be already famous to people you don't even know... (well, sorta, apparently, I've met her about 4 times in the last few years)

Mindflex

   So this Xmas, I got an insanely cool game, both insanely cool to us uber-geeks, and insanely cool to "normal folk"-- Mindflex.  [official website, lots of cool stuff there]  You play by putting on a headband and clipping a sensor to each ear lobe.  The headband has two sensors on your forehead.  These sensors read the brain waves produced by, well, your brain.  If you're relaxed, you're not producing the kind of brain waves it senses.  If you're concentrating hard on something, anything, you're producing lots of this kind of brain waves that the sensors can pick up on.  So this headband talks wirelessly to the board, where there is a fan blowing straight upwards.  The speed of the fan is directly controlled by how hard you're concentrating.  Cool!  This fan can be rotated left/right around a circular path by a knob on the board.  And the last piece is that there is loose lightweight ball you can place on the circular mesh track the fan moves under.
   So rotate the fan directly underneath the ball, concentrate hard on something, and STAND BACK JACK-- you just made the fan blow hard, which raised the ball to a height that corresponds directly with your level of concentration.  You can think "I want the ball to rise up to right there", and it WILL, if you concentrate at the right level.  Then, when you get distracted (it happens, "floating ball, floating ball, float-- OOH SQUIRREL!!!"), your concentration level drops, and the fan blows less hard, thus the ball floats less high, maybe drops to the board.  So you can float a ball all the way around the circle with your mind!
   And then to make it challenging, there's all kinds of pieces you can snap onto the board in any configuration above the circular mesh track that the fan moves under as obstacles.  And it has several games built in, such as "mental marathon" which times how long it takes you to complete the circuit, then you can pit your time against someone else who plays the exact same obstacle configuration.
   And with a very hard setup, I managed to squeak out a 3:12.  TAKE THAT, SQUIRREL!  Here, wanna see me play?  [Youtube video]

this has to bring a smile...

Excited baby, meet incredibly playful dog... (don't have it muted)


http://comedy.video.yahoo.com/?l=3774749&v=7652402

ALWAYS WEAR YOUR SEATBELT

Dad sent me this incredible video.  You've got to see this.  And do it-- it takes less than a second to buckle.  Gotta watch:

Embrace Life - always wear your seat belt

gawrsh, this is a cool article

This year, change your mind

I should have already known this level of neuroplasticity is possible due to my "new" double vision-- after 3.5 years of seeing double 24/7, (well not 24, I do occasionally sleep for 4 or 5 hours)  I've become so very used to it.  How used to it?  Last week I passed the FAA test for the vision of commercial jet pilots; not since I'm going to be a pilot, just to prove I can do it.

(um, just kidding about the whole jet pilot thing)