oh man, that was FUN: sledding

So recently it was <some day of the week>, January 5th, 2011.  That is my cousin's son Isaac's 1st birthday.  So I called, got to sing a song to the little booger, and other sappy stuff.  Oh yeah, and also talked to Brad & Danae.  I heard from them of a recent snowfall.  Brad, Mr. Ski Bunny, (maybe whoops, is that a female term?  sorry Brad.  somebody please leave a comment yes/no; if yes it's a female thing, then I meant to use Mr. Ski Sledgehammer) was saying how beautiful it was.  I think I gave Brad my best advice, something like "You need to seek help for that cocaine problem since you like snow so much, northerner."

Fast-forward to last night.  It started snowing last night around 1:36am.  Not that I would know that, just purely a random guess. (and if you'll buy that, then I have all kinds of other goods you might like)  This morning, I thought "Nice day for a walk."  And this shivers me timbers, I got set to do it; I already had hat & gloves on, I was like "I am so ready for snow, bring it on, big bad snow, I got yo' numba.  This snow ain't even gonna know what hit it, it'll be tapping out of the ring."  (I cannot believe I just used a WWE reference, -5 points for Jeffy)  I got halfway down the hallway to the elevator, and actually thought "Oooh, wait it's going to be cold.  I apparently stink at regulating my own body temperature."  Like that homeless lady who calls me Mr. Blue Lips since I didn't know how cold I was that day.  So I ACTUALLY turned around, spent 45 minutes taking off my outer layer of clothing (I'm not very efficient, I need to take a class from Rupert Baxter), and donned thermal underwear.  (then I was like "Hey, Don, give those back!")  THE FACT THAT I'M GETTING SOME SENSE BACK MADE THAT GREAT.  (on the other hand, I might still try to write in a vote for W. in the next election, but that's a topic for another day)

So all thermal underwear'ed up (with other clothes on top, what do you take me for), I walked down Main St., with a big grin on my face.  "Huh, Brad was right, the world did just get a fresh start.  It feels so clean.  It looks like a sinner's conscience after church." (I'm not saying that it's okay to do wrong, just that they then feel OK for having wronged)  As I got further down Main, a guy and a girl passed with the lids to giant trash cans in their hands, I said something to them, probably about stealing more subtly, and they were like "Do you know any hills around here?"  Hmmm, first thought was 'do I know a Mr. Hill?'  I'm not a smart man... sometimes what I think is a hill is a building, or a a person, or a freakin' cold-as-ice river. (that was not a fun day)  But I remembered one of the biggest lessons I've learned in the last few years: there's probably a resource to help you if you just look around (in the appropriate place) and ask.  Oh, right!  So I started with mom & dad, "Hey do you guys know of any hills in Greenville County?  These two young punks wanna know. [that'll get me in trouble one day, they laughed]  Oh, right, and good morning."  "Well, there's that hill in Falls Park, which, I can tell by the background noise, is 3 blocks from where you're currently standing."  (I didn't get that "smart" gene, I got the "smile & wave, look cute & cuddly" gene-- I bet mine carries me further)

So I accompany the young punks, purely for the chance to do scientific experimentation-- I'm also writing a term paper on what makes yellow snow. ;-)  We get to Falls Park, and there's a half-dozen sledders going at it already.  My two trash-can buddies go at it.  I decline with a "I'm not supposed to be doing sports that involve movement, as that could be hazardous to my health."  After a few minutes, I call my folks, who say "GO FOR IT."  So I asked if I could use a lid since they were now just watching the other sledders.  "SURE, have at it!"  Oh, cool.  Oh right, it never hurts to ask.  So I sat down on one... and got nervous.  So I turned to the crowd and enlisted help-- "Alright everybody together now!  10, 9"-- "9, 8, 3, 2, 1!"  (I later went back and suggested to that lady that she look into remedial math; no joke, it sounds funny but I seriously did, that's gonna cause her problems in later years, especially in calculus; you need to master elementary math)
So, I wouldn't say I've got sledding mastered, as I flipped halfway down the hill, and rolled off the sled onto my back with my legs in the air like an upside-down Y.  That's as far as that story is gonna go.  I'm only gonna claim "I was pushed, ref!"  So then a fellow said "Here, try this sled instead."  I tried it.  It was fun.  Nothing humorous happened.  (odd)

But all in all, I HAD FUN.  It was nice to be a kid again.

p.s. there is no homeless lady who calls me Mr. Blue Lips-- it just seemed to be a nice touch, and who complains about a nice touch?