Zoinks! Ruh roh! Rack o' reep?

So I have sleep issues. (wonder why) So last night I was tired (surprising) and went to bed at 10 (REAL surprising-- I normally go to sleep somewhere in the neighborhood of midnight to 2). So I'm laying there... FOR...EV...ER. Not so much on the sleep coming, which is a new record. I tried counting, but never could get past 42 (you need to read the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy to understand why that's my favorite number), but then I had a good idea. I thought "Huh. War. What is it good for? Huh. You know... if everybody had a strawberry milkshake in EACH hand, no room for weapons, and then we'd all feel the joy all the time anyways... (time goes by) Which could lead to more problems-- everybody'd be feeling so loving, the marriage proposals would be flying, so if there are any relatives nearby... errrrm. And if folks learn that all you gotta do to get free strawberry milkshakes airdropped in is start a war... hrrrm." Okay, never mind on the "good idea," but at least I can blame lack o' sleep for being cRAZy. But hey, having an odd sense o' humor is better than my impression of baked bread that doesn't rise for five weeks. (Hoo-ah. Thank you, thank you, be sure to tip your waitstaff. I'll be here all week)

A religious man goes to the doctor for a checkup and the doctor says he's in good health, and asks if he has any other questions. The man replies "Nope, I've led a good life and God's been good to me because he turns on the light for me when I got to the bathroom at night." Then the man leaves and his wife comes in. The doctor says "Your husband's in good PHYSICAL health, but I think he's gone koo-koo. He thinks that God literally turns on the light for him when he gets up in the middle of the night to pee." The wife replies "OOOOHHHH! THAT explains the yellow liquid in the fridge every morning!"