as writ by THE author

I was reading my book on the bus the other day, The Small Bachelor by P.G. Wodehouse-- probably the greatest literary comic ever-- and came across a phrase that, if I do say so myself, just fits me.


"As I drained the glass now, new life seemed to burgeon within me. I remember Jeeves, who, however much he may go off the rails at times in the matter of dress clothes and in his advice to those in love, has always had a neat turn of phrase, once speaking of someone rising on stepping-stones of his dead self to higher things. It was that way with me now. I felt that the Bertram Wooster who lay propped up against the pillows had become a better, stronger, finer Bertram."  


"rising on stepping-stones of his dead self to higher things"... Jeff 2.0.  Need I say more?  Gawrsh that fits well.

incredibly simple neat Google tricks

Just ran across this and thought "Everyone should know this."  A quick simple guide to useful Google one-liners:

http://www.google.com/intl/en/help/features.html

(I've probably blogged this before, but in case I haven't...)

step one of "pay it forward"

AWESOME.  Y'all may or may not know this part of the Jeff Knox story, but rewind back to May of 2007.  So there I am, in a coma, hadn't done anything for five weeks-- hadn't talked, hadn't voluntarily moved, hadn't breathed.  The future did not look bright, in fact it was a dim shade of dark.  Then on July 1st, a pet therapy volunteer brings in Cassie the Golden Retriever to come see me.  She settles in and lies down next to me.  Then it happened.  I reached out and began petting her.  It was the first signal anyone had that I was "in there."  So I'm alive thanks to doctors, but I'm awake due to Cassie the therapy dog-- at least, the way I see it.  This was a major part of why my first college major post-wreck was to become a veterinary assistant.


Fast forward to 6 months ago.  My parents adopt Riley, a very sweet ~2 year old mix between a Golden Retriever & a basset hound.  Early in having her in the family, my folks and I both expressed desires to try to coach her into being a hospital therapy dog like Cassie.


For the last few months, Riley has been a therapy dog on weekly visits to a local nursing home's Alzheimer's unit, where the residents just love on her and love on her.  So it's a good deed, but it's still not a hospital.  


Fast forward to yesterday, 10/23/10.  Riley got her Canine Good Citizen certificate recently, but yesterday... STEP 1 OF 3 TO BECOMING A HOSPITAL THERAPY DOG!  We went to a place where they do the first round of 3 days of testing.  And they're not just testing the dog, they're training/testing the dog's handlers.  So dad went first with the Ri-meister, so mom & I could both observe the test & gain more confidence.  The test included the following:  

• walk  in a pattern around some cones
• walk up to a guy in a wheelchair and have Riley stand next to him and get petted
• walk up to a guy with a walker and have Riley get petted
• walk up to a guy with crutches and have him drop both crutches next to Riley so see if she got scared
• have someone open up an umbrella in Riley's face to see if she got scared
• have someone toss a ball to make sure Riley didn't go after it
• have another dog walk around Riley to make sure she didn't go after the dog
• have someone touch her tail, ears, feet, etc. to make sure she didn't get scared

And Riley AND dad both passed!  She did awesome!  (oh yeah, and dad was there (snicker snicker))  So then I got to go-- Riley and I passed!  Then mom-- both passing!

Following the test, the whole graduating class went to a mental hospital for our first observation-- we each have to be observed handling Riley 3 times and pass before she gets officially certified as a therapy dog.  And Riley loved her first visit-- she laid down on the floor and got belly rubs from some of the patients!  She loves a good belly rub-- I love this dog.

Duck & Cover

Wow.  WOW.  My folks got some device a long time ago (I forget what it was), and it came with a DVD that included this 1950 public safety message.  Last night we popped it in and were subjected to learning all about Duck & Cover.  First watch the video (it's 4:48), then come back to see my commentary.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixy5FBLnh7o

     "We all know the atomic bomb is very dangerous.  If it may be used against us, we must get ready for it, just as we are ready for many other dangers that are around us all the time."  OK, so, when teaching Isaac (my ~11 mo. old first cousin once removed, for those who don't know) the basics to ensure a good life, ensure he understands early:

1. don't talk to strangers
2. don't play with sharp objects 
3. always be prepared for a nuclear attack

     "It is such a big explosion, it can smash in buildings and knock signboards over and break windows all over town.  But, if you duck, and cover, like Bert, you'll be much safer."  OK, so let me see if I'm following the train of thought here... this force can knock buildings down, but if I just lay down and cover my head with my arms, I'll be safe?  IT'S THAT EASY???  Then why all the concern?  
     "... and her teacher is explaining there are two kinds of attack, with warning, and without warning."  Or, put another way, you'll die scared, or you'll die happy.
     I just love the guy who is so amazingly prepared for a nuclear attack, that at a moment's notice, he can jump off his tractor and lie face-down.  That'll keep him safe.  He's been hard at work preparing for this.
     "The next important thing to do after that is to stay covered until the danger is over."  Which'll be roughly 24,000 years or 4.47 billion years, depending on whether the bomb used plutonium or uranium as the radioactive source.  And we don't mean at all that you'll be safe at that time, that's just about how long it'll take to roughly cut the effects of the radiation in half.  Why, you gotta be somewhere?
     Wow were we dumb in 1950.

And can anyone click on first cousin once removed and tell me who my first cousin once removed actually is?  How dumb is that-- a term that could mean this person, but it could also mean this totally other person...  I mean, if they're gonna do that, why not have "dad" mean your father, but also mean the guy down the street?

back... to the future, thanks to Google

Oh man is this gonna be oh so slick.  And who else would be ushering in the next big wave of the future but my ever-beloved Google?  ROBOTIC CARS!  Seriously!  This will make DUI's a thing of eras past.  Well, sorta, now the term might morph into Don't Uninstall Ingine.  Or maybe Dell Unabashedly Imagines.  Or (ooh, this is good) Driver Unobtainable, Ignite?  Or... OK, OK, I'll stop, geez.  But you gotta check it out:
http://news.google.com/news/more?pz=1&cf=all&cf=all&ncl=dmuhWSd1A1APFYMQz5Ptzv3lruhRM
I don't know yet if Google's single, but I'm gonna try to get the laws changed so that a person can marry a company... ... ...  oh wait, they're in California, where it's already legal.  Sweet!

Ever heard of Rin Tin Tin?

I wonder how he'd like 10/10/10...

MAN I like this President

Obama to Put Solar Panels on White House Roof, Chu Says - BusinessWeek

Posted: 05 Oct 2010 07:06 AM PDT

FOXNews

Obama to Put Solar Panels on White House Roof, Chu Says BusinessWeek Oct. 5 (Bloomberg) -- President Barack Obama will have solar panels put on the roof of the White House, Energy Secretary Steven Chu said. “The White House will lead by example,” Chu said today at a conference in Washington. ... White House Going Solar — AgainNew York Times (blog) Solar panels heading to White House roofThe Hill (blog) Report: White House to install solar panelsCNET ABC News (blog) -CrunchGear -13wmaz all 283 news articles »

I am *so* on the right path in school, finally

So to gain more experience with young adults (any experience, really), I've been volunteering in my local church's children's ministry once every 3 weeks.  This morning was my shift, and I learned that the early child development path is the right path for me to be on.  We were mostly just doing playtime activities, the boys congregating to the Lego's, and the girls flocking to draw colorful pictures. (a good portion of which were portraits of yours truly, and as long as I hold my arms up in a Y, they were accurate)  But I actually got to teach two concepts:

1. forgiveness: one boy was telling me about how yesterday, he went to an orchard to pick apples.  He said someone meant to throw an apple into the basket, but it hit him in the head.  He said "But I got 'em back-- I threw one right at their head."  So we had a talk about how they didn't mean to, and how forgiving is better than losing a friend.  He finally agreed, but I don't know that it sunk in.
2. This one I do know sunk in-- sharing.  I heard a commotion in the corner, and when I came to investigate, three boys were all simultaneously saying "He took my Lego man."  So we discussed how with only one Lego man, and three kids who want him, the only way this is going to work is if they share.  To my total amazement, they all agreed.  So I said "Okay, so I'll set my watch timer for one minute, and Trip will get the Lego man for that whole minute.  Then when my watch goes off, Trip will give the Lego man to William for a whole minute.  Then when my watch goes off, William will give the Lego man to Korbin."  And, surprisingly again, they agreed.  And I figured I'd have to be persistent in saying "The watch has gone off, so..." but no.  The watch would start beeping, I'd put my hand where they could hear it and mostly without direction, they'd find the right child and hand off the Lego man.  How cool is that?  

So where I learned recently with the sitting-by-the-roadside incident that people are generally good, I'm beginning to learn that it's somewhat innate, at least in these kids.  Or maybe it was more that once we had a plan or a rule, they stuck to it... whatever, it worked.  It was a good morning.

White Men Can't... Dance

     So, for the first time in my life (probably including all that Jeff 1.0 funny business), I went dancing. (not ballroom, but contemporary stuff)  I think a long time ago my driving therapist suggested I go dancing, for some odd unknown reason-- I pretty much blew off that suggestion.  But I got to thinking today, you know, it's not like I'm meeting people anywhere else that I talk to, since my classmates are almost all around a decade younger, mostly just finished high school.  So I walk down to this restaurant that has Friday night dancing.  I figure I'll just go and at least observe, see what it's all about.  So I walk in, and stand at the edge of the dance floor, idly twiddling my fingers while digging a hole through the floor with my toe, feeling somewhat like a schoolboy. (hey wait, I am  a schoolboy)  Seemingly, everybody's with a partner, no one's just out there by themselves, apparently you just don't do that.  Also kinda makes it hard for me to find a dance partner, since they appear to be all paired up.
     So feeling like a key without  a lock, I walked out, forget this.  I got about 100 feet, halfway down the grand staircase outside by the river, and stopped.  "Hmmm... well, you know... ah shoot, just go try again."  So I climb back up the staircase, walk in, stand by the edge of the dance floor for a few minutes, and come rapidly back to the same conclusion.  But I stay a bit longer, as there's this cutie dancing her fool head off-- I mean, she's my type, and she's got very fluid moves goin' on.  Yeah, but that's not gonna happen, at least after she sees my moves-- again, I'm not sure if I've ever danced before.
     So I leave again, and this time I make it down the staircase, along the river, and then halfway across the bridge I stop & have a long talk with myself.  "You know, this is what was wrong with Jeff 1.0.  Not putting himself out there."  Back to the dance floor I go.
     And this time, I figure, heck, it's not like I've got anything to lose.  So I step onto the floor and start "shakin' my groove thing." (I wish you could have seen it, it would have made your year)  And then, El Cutie-o (as she's known in Spain, La Cutie-o in France) come dancing over and says over the music "I've seen you before."
     Ooh, ah, cool, an on-ramp to conversation-- ever the endless repository of quick light-hearted wit, I cock my head jauntily to one side while I snappily retort with "Um, okay."  That'll melt her heartstrings...
     ... time passes, I continue what I call "dancing"...
     She works her way back over toward me.  "I know!  It was contra dancing!"  Drawing back on my humorous college days (at the uni, as the British say, right Janet?), I summon up a "Yes it was."  (I can't have a clue if it's true since you have about 50 dance partners in contra, but that's conceivable, who am I to argue and why would I, so yes it was indeed, oh yeah, glad you brought it up, have you seen any of the old gang?)
     ... time passes, I continue what I call "dancing", and I work my way over to her and in a break in the music, heartily squeak out "I don't have a clue how this works... can I see you again?"  To which the reply (heavily muffled by hip-hop) was EITHER "I'm seeing somebody" OR "I'd rather lie in pig vomit", you know how those two phrases sound exactly alike while "Ice Ice Baby" is playing loudly.  One of those two, but they amount to the same thing really, when you think about it-- I rolled a gutterball, but it's not necessarily the tenth frame. (for all the non-bowlers, that would be the end of the game)
     So, it mostly just signifies a drastic change-- I'm almost positive Jeff 1.0 wasn't a dancer.  But it's like anything else, keep trying different things until you find a solution to your problem, which peg will fit that hole.  Yeah, OK, so a dance floor is apparently not where to meet people to talk to, whoops, wrong peg, live & learn.  And at least I tried.  I may even try that again someday...