running-- Spinx Run Fest

So I've become a runner.  It started months ago when I found out a running store that I can walk to has a group Saturday mornings for those who aren't actively runners but want to change that.  So every run isn't a full-out sprint, but designed for those who aren't in peak condition.  Like doing 3 minutes of running, 1 minute of walking, etc, etc.  Been getting into running form with them for months.  My first "race" was a couple of months ago, the running store's "Nike fun run", untimed.  (except for on my watch-- you gotta know, man!  well, I do anyway)  My time there was 30:20-- not bad at all for a "first" go at it. (in quotes since I ran track & field and also cross country in high school, but you might say a lot has happened since, so let's call it a "new first", or a "re-first")  Then, as a smart man once said "From that day on, if I was going somewhere, I was running!"

That was a good warm-up for the Greenville 5k rally run the following week.  My only real goal here was to improve my time, I don't care how much, I just want to show improvement.  Right before the start, they were telling us the route to run and said 'Turn around at the monument."  I was thinking "What monument?  Oh, never mind, I sure won't be first so it's not my problem."  But I'm running, walking, running and I get to a place where I can go at least 4 different directions-- and, UH OH, there's no one in front or back of me, we were SO spread out by then.  "This isn't going according to plan..."  So I just kinda hung out & waited for the next runner, who was as baffled as I was.  Eventually we decided we were at "the monument" and turned around to run back the way we had come. Lucky-- turned out we guessed exactly right!  And at a time of 30:15, I met my goal!  I was strutting my stuff that day-- "I can get somewhat lost and still run a faster time!  Oh yeah, I'm bad, I'm bad..."

Then about a month later was a 5k to benefit the Gateway House at Furman, my first college.  It was kinda nice to run familiar ground.  By this time I had bought a belt that holds water bottles securely, it's made for running.  So I'm cruising through my old stomping grounds, feeling pretty good about my time, and I know I'm in the last 200 yards, so kick it up a notch!  Then one of the bystanders yells to me "Hey, you dropped a water bottle!"  Wha-- oh, my arm knocked it off & I didn't notice... dang, well, let's turn around, run about 10 yards the wrong way, pick it up and then sprint like my life depends on it!  And hey, my time there was 30:13!  So I was feeling my oats that day... "I can run the wrong way and still beat my best time!" (barely, but it counts!)  I think this was the one where I was kinda griping that I only improved by 2 seconds, and my gym trainer Ginnie was like "Jeff, 4 years ago, you were in a coma."  Yeah, okay, there is that, good point, but doesn't deflect my drive to excel.

And then a month after that, yesterday actually, was another 5k.  I didn't think it would be a big deal, they've all been somewhat small affairs to benefit some local charity so far.  BUT OH NO, this was a big deal-- the Spinx Run Fest!  (and now that I think about it, why did I think Spinx was just some local charity?)  It wasn't just a 5k, it was a 5k, a half-marathon, and a full marathon... holy cow.  But okay, cool, I'm very familiar with the 5k race course as it's all downtown on routes I've walked many times before.  I didn't think much about it.  Then I get to the race and discover they've blocked off Main Street for a good ways!  Whoa, this is a big deal!  I didn't even think about where it's gonna end.  So I'm running, thinking "Don't get lost!  Don't drop a water bottle!  Don't be a doofus!"  (and I met the first two goals! :-))  I couldn't get lost, there were so many runners (over 800), and I skootched my water bottles around to the back where my arms wouldn't hit them.  It was my first clean race!  YES!  Goal met!  And the ending I hadn't thought about wrapped around the outside of the baseball stadium and had us enter and circle the field, huh, cool.  And this being a big deal race, as you crossed the finish line there was a large clock above it.  So my official time here was 29:57!!!  Alright, not dropping things and not getting lost results in my largest improvement yet, 16 seconds!  I'll take that!  Now I thought at first that I had improved by well over a minute, but when I got home and discovered it was only 16 seconds, I was like "Ah, who cares..."  That's why it didn't appear on this blog.  But after I've slept on it, heck, given Ginnie's point of view, I'll take anything-- but improvements are always nice, and it was my largest improvement yet.  And it was nice that my folks came over and brought Riley, as both as I ran by at the start and just after I finished, I got a howl of pleasure.  Exactly, well said, Ri.

This is how I'm beating my coma.

"10 Greenville schools locked down for manhunt"

So this was amusing.  Greenville Tech has been sending a flurry of text messages to my phone about a nearby shooting at a police officer this morning (news coverage), where the guy had a freaking rifle, that caused them to put the school on lockdown.  Since I don't have classes on Fridays this semester, I don't really care.  (and you'd think they'd check class schedules before sending out a school-wide panic alert, but no... which verifies that it really is just a two-bit technical college. ;-) yuk yuk)  And while I was in the grocery store just now, my folks called to describe what they heard on the news that the suspect looks like... they've got my back.  "It's a black man wearing a gray sweatshirt."  My reaction was "Um, wouldn't it just be easier to say THE GUY WITH THE RIFLE?"  So this might happen:
     "There he is!  Duck and cover!"  
     "Nah, the suspect was described as wearing a grey sweatshirt, and that sweatshirt is clearly an off-mauve tone.  Don't pay this guy with a rifle any attention since he's not wearing a grey sweatshirt... He looks angry, but Duke did lose a home game last night, so go figure... I'm mad about that too, heck, gimme a rifle!"

(I'm sorry guys, but that was pretty doggone funny.  So I need to be selective about which gunmen I watch out for-- silly me, I've had it wrong all these years; I've just been fleeing all gunmen.  I guess maybe I should get to know them first, then flee...  "OH, you're the gunman who just went through a third divorce... I heard about you, bye!")

Josh Blue gets out-palsied

So my new favorite comedian is Josh Blue, who is afflicted with cerebral palsy.  He's made a career out of making light of the odd predicaments his spastic arms get him into.  I just like someone who doesn't take themselves too seriously.  (here's some of his stand-up)  This clip is from another stand-up comic with cerebral palsy who works Josh into his show.  It's amusing.

http://suaevents.com/2011/10/17/dont-get-too-close-we-might-get-tangled-up/

See You Next Wednesday

Ever heard of a joke that doesn't go too far, but does go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on?  Just good to at least hear of it once... it's kinda funny how much this phrase worked it's way into our culture...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/See_You_Next_Wednesday

do a test drive of your driving directions!

Huh!  I'll be darned!  I just stumbled across this.  This is pretty cool-- next to "Driving directions to Keowee Sailing Club" on the left, click the "3D" button.  I've never seen that before...

http://maps.google.com/maps?saddr=Greenville,+SC&daddr=150+Keowee+Sailing+Club+Drive,+Seneca,+SC+29672+(Keowee+Sailing+Club)&hl=en&sll=34.76982,-82.666626&sspn=0.515532,1.040955&geocode=FQrPEwIdZsQW-ykFEfpiZo9XiDGWdiW_d52q2A%3BFVzhEQIddsQO-yHEVle6cYV9Mw&vpsrc=0&mra=prev&t=f&z=10&ecpose=34.82856776,-82.51567628,1431.36,-95.019,74.963,0

"Flight school"... "We're for real"... "REALLY!"

First, look at the poster I just found in the Barley's hallway.  It's the pink one about airplane rides.  (getting a link to just that picture wasn't working, so I got a link to the album)  https://picasaweb.google.com/107911494545960970374/DropBox#

Huh.  Okay, so I grab a picture on my camera-phone, and email it to myself to check it out later.  That led me here: http://www.flyairwolf.com/

Now, anything strike you as odd about that?

    "We pride ourselves in providing the highest quality pilot training available. We have created our own syllabi for all certificates and ratings from our personal experiences and knowledge. Our structured and professional approach allows you to earn your pilot certificate or rating in the most time efficient and cost effective manner with the quality you expect from a Professional Flight School."

Translated using Google Translate, From: Engrish, To: Jeff-speak: (those languages may not be an option for you, I double-ultra-sonic-hacked my browser's cookies) (and don't ask how I did that) (I don't know)

     "We're good. (we think)  We're darn good. (we hope)  We're so good, we threw away the manual before we read it.  Oh wait, that's not right... OH YEAH, we didn't even buy the manual.  What a stupid concept.   "I wanna learn... it's HARD to be a pilot."  No it's not, you goof.  Then the old fuddy-duddies made us "go through flight school" (yawn), so instead of that old bore, we just opened our own flight school with some of daddy's money, "created our own syllabi for all certificates and ratings from our personal experience", and voilá!  Now, our personal experiences and knowledge may or may not have anything to do with airplanes, but that's besides the point.  Well maybe not planes in person, but we're well versed in Tattoo's flight school, and Tattoo himself stands tall and proud by his flight school.  The taller he stands, the better his school is.  Now we promise you won't find a cheaper, faster "flight school."  Our rigorous application system involves the following stepS: (it useda be one step until the TSA got their big fat noses all up in our bidness)

1. When coming to our school, plan your flight path to take you by a Sonic drive-in, and BE SURE you DO NOT leave without a Diet Coke blended float.
2. THIS IS CRITICAL: bring the D.C. blended float to our office.
3. Bring a pen.
4. Bring a piece of paper.
5. You better have remembered a straw.
6. 2 minutes of skilled craftsmanship later (old fuddy-duddies are calling it "forgery," don't listen to 'em, that's just one way of looking at it), YOU NOW HAVE A PILOT'S LICENSE!
7. Tell your friends you got your pilot's license not from a plain old boring flight school, but from a professional flight school.  (take special note that we know how to turn on italics, it's a pilot secret)  (CTRL-I, but you didn't hear that from me)

Gmail is no longer invitation-only! CHECK IT OUT!

HUH!  It used to be (for many years) that the only way to get a Gmail account was through an invite from someone who already has a Gmail account.  I was trying to convince a friend of how great this email service is, and noticed that I no longer have the "Invite a friend" box in my Gmail like I've seen for the last decade or so.  I go looking into it, and I'll be darned!  Gmail has finally gone public!  I can't gush enough about how useful it can be, both in terms of the way Google organizes things, and in how they allow you to have infinite control, one way is through these things they call Filters that automatically handle incoming emails in certain ways that you define before you even see those particular emails.  Even though switching your email address around is a pain, (gotta update banks, etc.), THIS IS WORTH IT.  My folks switched to Gmail a few years ago, and are very satisfied.  OK, I'll shut up now.  Please check it out, maybe even just do a test run that no one else will know about yet:

https://mail.google.com/support/bin/answer.py?answer=7403

Might wanna view a quick "welcome to Gmail" tutorial I cobbled together a few years ago:

https://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AZnKqFuFRFukZGNyd3NwZ21fMTYxaHBrNnI1Y3Y&authkey=CO2q444B&hl=en_US&authkey=CO2q444B