Did you hear about the dyslexic lawyer? He studied all year for the bra exam.
A mushroom ran into a bar with another mushroom and the bartender said "Sorry, we don't serve boring old food here." The mushroom replied "But I'm a fungi and I gotta shitake here."
Why is it called a strike in baseball when the batter misses the ball?
A few nights ago, mom went to the bathroom in the middle of the night (how dare her), and when she came back to bed, Dad was (in his sleep) mumbling "something something forsook something something." Then the night after that it was "something something from whence cometh, m'lady.." Mom is very clear that it was "m'lady", not "my lady."
So, tonight, after playing every-other-shot-must-be-a-bank-shot miniature golf (my new invention), we had dinner out at a sub joint. In line just after us was a cop, so I let my parents sit down and then asked him if he'd jokingly bust mom for drugs. Scratch that off my list of things to do before I die. (And he said no.) Sure, don't believe me, I JUST LIVE WITH HER. And in all seriousness but also jokingly at the same time, I do check her arms for needle marks daily. Maybe they're between the toes... hmmm...
Hide -n- go seek
In between Q & S is Arrr!
My pirate name is:
Captain Jack Kidd
Even though there's no legal rank on a pirate ship, everyone recognizes you're the one in charge. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!
Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.part of the fidius.org network
