Thursday, February 11, 2010

zebra humor (you don't get THAT every day)

FIRST, read the news:
http://news.google.com/news/more?pz=1&cf=all&cf=all&ncl=drJFqGyQVZZiHhMJiNi4Zv5RiKZmM

SECOND, a zebra's commentary:
"Hey Bob, they took us to a zoo!  Aw, look at the cutesy lions behind the fence... wait a minute... I see lions.  I do not see a fence."
"BOB NOT HAPPY"
"Okay, look at this calmly and rationally.  If we listen to our animal instincts and run like hell, every lion's animal instincts will also kick in, and he-- or she, mustn't neglect the lionesses-- will think "chase, kill, eat" but I'm not really concerned right now with anything after the proposed 'kill' phase of this project, I just know that they're fast as lions since, face it, they're lions.  If, however, we approach the pride like we're approaching a pretty girl across the room at a party, slowly, casually, making flitting eye contact only ever so oft-- OW HE'S EATING MY LEG!  RUN, BOB, WHILE I SO THOUGHTFULLY AM GRABBING HIS ATTENTION!  OOH I KNOW-- THE LAST TIME I RECITED POETRY, A MEMBER OF THE AUDIENCE LYNCHED HIMSELF.    ODE TO A PIECE OF GOO I FOUND IN MY ARMPIT... HE'S STILL EATING!  OK, NEW ONE, COMPOSED ON THE FLY, VERY AVANT-GARDE: OH HOW GRAND IT IS TO BE A LION WITH YOUR JAWS ABOUT TO CHOMP DOWN ON A ZEBRA'S HEA--"
"Bob not happy.  Bob running.    Bob not as fast as the--"

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